Airlie Beach

500km to Airlie Beach (sticking to the speed limit this time) where both Will and I spent time, separately, in 1990 and again, neither of us remember it. We can’t work out whether it’s because of all the new building works or because we were in too much of an alcoholic haze last time around.

We’re in the heart of the Whitsundays, a group pf 74 islands only 7 of which have any buildings. Staying at the over-priced Waterfront apartments (www.waterfrontwhitsunday.com.au) gives us a tantalising view of the sea and some of the islands out there and after a move to the much bigger and more reasonably priced Coral Vista, we take the Fantasea catamaran from Shute harbour to Daydream Island, Hamilton Island and Whitehaven beach, which is rated as one of the top 10 beaches in the world with pure silica sand. Very beautiful until we spot 4 jelly fish washed up on the sand and all beat a hasty retreat out of the sea. Oh, how times have changed. Roll back to 1993 when Lucia and I met the crew of a beautiful yacht who invited us to sail with them from Auckland to Hamilton Island. We declined but met them at Hamilton where they let us sleep on their boat (whilst they stayed in the only hotel on the island); we crewed a trimaran in some sailing races and joined a Castelmaine XXXX beach party where I had my photo taken by the Brisbane Sunday Times and told I was going to be their page 3 girl (I was wearing a bikini…). 2008 sees me stepping off a huge ferry, taking the local bus around the island (which now has about 20 places to stay) and admiring all the yachts from afar. Ah well, at least I still have the towel that I stole from here all those years ago!

We spend the rest of our time at Airlie Beach visiting the Vic Hislop Shark Show, a rather bizarre exhibition culminating in the display of a frozen 25ft shark. Vic was the man who sold a shark to Damien Hirst for Damien’s pickling exhibition. He was paid £30,000 for the shark, later sold by Charles Saatchi to a collector for £2 million. Maybe I should start up a shark investment fund when I get back. I'll make no obvious puns here about sharks running investment funds.

26 January is Australia Day, the celebration of the first white settlers and now celebrating everything Aussie. What’s Aussie? Beaches, barbeques and booze. Not necessarily in that order. Also cane toad racing, betting, didgeridoo playing and dressing up in the national flag. Oh, did I mention getting drunk? We joined in the fun at Magnums for a couple of hours before taking a break at the lagoon pool; witness the arrest of a drunken youth, the local police marching up to people drinking on the streets and grabbing their beer before pouring it out onto the ground and much frivolity and high-spirits in the pool. Heading back to Magnums, we all enjoy watching the locals getting into the spirit of things by dancing around, faces painted, without a care in the world. Increasingly sleepy children prevented us from getting too involved ourselves, goddammit!