Coffs Harbour

Australia spawns a host of Big things: the Big Banana started it all 40 years ago and is now joined by the Big Prawn, the Giant Gumboot, the Big Mango, the Big Pineapple, the Giant Rocking Horse (and these are just a few of the ones we've spotted at the side of the road)....the list goes on. The rule for a Big thing is quite simple - it must be man-made and larger than the actual thing it is replicating. We still can't work out the appeal of these things but for some reason, they're on the to-see-list of many visitors here. Bad news about the Big Banana “tourist attraction”, chocolate coated bananas. The good news, it has a fantastic toboggan ride that we can go hurtling round at huge speed with the kids wedged between our knees. Ruby started out slightly wary and soon decided she wanted to swap drivers in the (mis-guided) belief that Will would go faster than I did.

A short drive takes us to Bangalow, a cute little one street town full of boutique shops and the most fantastic place for lunch – Utopia – where the menu was so amazing we ordered too many dishes just so we could have a taste of each. All were scrumptious.

We’re off to go horse riding in Valery which is deep, deep in the forest, accessed via narrow dirt roads with furiously speeding logging trucks hurtling towards us. Harley gets his first proper pony ride, Ruby her first horse ride and I get back on horse for first time in years. A lovely ride through the forest gives us all a taste for more and we’re plotting a way to go horse riding on the beach.

We take the kids to the Pet Porpoise Pool which is absolutely brilliant. A seal comes out and gives us all kisses; we can walk around to the dolphin pool and get a kiss there too (from a dolphin, not a dolphin handler, unfortunately); there’s a dolphin show where both Will and I are (separately) dragged up to make fools of ourselves (ok, I wasn’t dragged up, I just happen to like making a fool of myself in front of dozens of people); show-off seals and penguin feeding. It’s a fantastic place.

So a final day in Coffs Harbour. How shall we spend our day? Will has a great idea. Let’s have lunch at the fisherman’s co-op, a fantastic place which is where all the local fishermen bring their catch. You choose your fish and have it cooked any way you like. And BYO too, so you can bring a bottle of wine and sit outside overlooking the harbour as you stuff your face. Let’s walk it off by climbing up Mutton Bird Island, he says. 2,000 mutton birds nest here. We climb up and walk to the far edge and keep our eyes peeled for incoming mutton birds. How many do we see? 2,000? No. 200? No. 20? No. 2. Yes, 2. We’ve just hiked up Mutton-fucking-Bird Island to see 2,000 Mutton Birds and we’ve seen 2. I bite my tongue and trudge down again. Will 1, Karen 1.