Brisbane bound

Having trouble finding a hotel in Brisbane for 3 nights and unusually, www.wotif.com aren’t of much help today. Eventually manage to find something in one of the Northern suburbs so relax and spend the day at Steve Irwin’s (RIP) Australia Zoo (www.crocodilehunter.com). A great selection of indigenous animals are housed here (most having been nursed back to health via their in-house animal hospital) and are joined by some elephants and tigers. All of the animals have huge amounts of space, most have been hand-reared and still have constant interaction with their keepers. Wandering around here, you get a feeling that Steve Irwin really cared about these animals (although maybe not quite so much as the giant, humping tortoises cared about each other that afternoon) and we all feel quite sad that Mr Crikey is no longer alive.

Wotif have definitely used poetic license to describe Redcliffe as a northern suburb of Brisbane. We’re actually 35km outside of Brisbane and travelling to Tom (Louie’s brother) and Emma’s for dinner in the rain and the dark takes quite some time. Tom and Emma are renting a gorgeous house in Wilston and we have a fab bbq on the deck at the back. Lovely to be in someone’s house for dinner again.

Redcliffe was the first white settlement in Queensland and has much in common with Eastbourne. Nice beach, full of old people waiting for God. Must get to internet café and find a hotel in Brisbane.

Southwards to Noosa

Leaving Airlie Beach the next morning, some familiar faces from last night were on the streets, only now they looked like they had several cares in the world, mostly how to get rid of their hangovers.

There’s not too much of interest between here and Brisbane, so we drive for most of the day, covering 500km and stop for the night at Yeppoon. No prizes for guessing who has a hotel here? Rydges Capricorn Resort sports a massive swimming pool and we spend the rest of the afternoon taking advantage of it.

Another day, another 400km and we pull into Hervey Bay, a 10km stretch of idyllic beach. Being south of Rockhampton, we’re now officially safe to swim without fear of stingers and god, does it feel good to plunge into the sea, even if the sea is only knee high for at least a kilometre out. Enjoying sitting in the shallow waters as the sun sets, it seems like a good idea to spend the night here. I wander across the road to see if there’s any free accommodation and come up trumps with Eden by the Bay (www.edenbythebay.com.au ). One of the nicest apartments we’ve had so far, we decide to extend our stay for an extra night and use the day to hire tandem bikes and take a 2 hour cycle around the bay and out onto the 1km long jetty. Quite hot work in this heat and keeping the kids steady on the back, but I think we finally found something that all of us enjoy.

As dusk descends, we think there’s thousands of birds suddenly flying into the trees but closer inspection, as they zoom just above our heads, reveals that they are bats. Hundreds and hundreds of bats flying in from as far as the eye can see on the horizon, swooping in to the trees, over the shops, everywhere. They fly so close to us we can literally see their eyes. Ugly little critters. As we drive out in the morning, I spot an area full of dead trees covered in what looks like big, black leaves. Not leaves, but hundreds and hundreds of bats hanging upside down in the trees with only the occasional flap of a wing or mouse-like squeak to give away their hiding place.

Just a 1 ½ hour drive to Noosa and we find ourselves at Bermuda Villas (www.bermudavillasnoosa.com.au ). Noosa is gorgeous. Gorgeous houses, great restaurants and a beautiful river that runs in front of us and joins the sea that flows behind us. Fantastic beaches (if you discount the stingers that we saw washed up on the beach) and great surf, perfect for some body-surfing. Great to see Louie, our old nanny, again. We haven’t seen her in 2 years and we’re all delighted when she arrives in time to join us on our rented boat on the river. Back to the apartment for a swim and jacuzzi and we hit the wine far too early. We’re both the worse for wear as we head out for dinner and by the time Will takes the kids off home, we’re both up for more partying so join a couple of Louie’s friends in the bar at Café la Monde. You don’t need any more details!

Airlie Beach

500km to Airlie Beach (sticking to the speed limit this time) where both Will and I spent time, separately, in 1990 and again, neither of us remember it. We can’t work out whether it’s because of all the new building works or because we were in too much of an alcoholic haze last time around.

We’re in the heart of the Whitsundays, a group pf 74 islands only 7 of which have any buildings. Staying at the over-priced Waterfront apartments (www.waterfrontwhitsunday.com.au) gives us a tantalising view of the sea and some of the islands out there and after a move to the much bigger and more reasonably priced Coral Vista, we take the Fantasea catamaran from Shute harbour to Daydream Island, Hamilton Island and Whitehaven beach, which is rated as one of the top 10 beaches in the world with pure silica sand. Very beautiful until we spot 4 jelly fish washed up on the sand and all beat a hasty retreat out of the sea. Oh, how times have changed. Roll back to 1993 when Lucia and I met the crew of a beautiful yacht who invited us to sail with them from Auckland to Hamilton Island. We declined but met them at Hamilton where they let us sleep on their boat (whilst they stayed in the only hotel on the island); we crewed a trimaran in some sailing races and joined a Castelmaine XXXX beach party where I had my photo taken by the Brisbane Sunday Times and told I was going to be their page 3 girl (I was wearing a bikini…). 2008 sees me stepping off a huge ferry, taking the local bus around the island (which now has about 20 places to stay) and admiring all the yachts from afar. Ah well, at least I still have the towel that I stole from here all those years ago!

We spend the rest of our time at Airlie Beach visiting the Vic Hislop Shark Show, a rather bizarre exhibition culminating in the display of a frozen 25ft shark. Vic was the man who sold a shark to Damien Hirst for Damien’s pickling exhibition. He was paid £30,000 for the shark, later sold by Charles Saatchi to a collector for £2 million. Maybe I should start up a shark investment fund when I get back. I'll make no obvious puns here about sharks running investment funds.

26 January is Australia Day, the celebration of the first white settlers and now celebrating everything Aussie. What’s Aussie? Beaches, barbeques and booze. Not necessarily in that order. Also cane toad racing, betting, didgeridoo playing and dressing up in the national flag. Oh, did I mention getting drunk? We joined in the fun at Magnums for a couple of hours before taking a break at the lagoon pool; witness the arrest of a drunken youth, the local police marching up to people drinking on the streets and grabbing their beer before pouring it out onto the ground and much frivolity and high-spirits in the pool. Heading back to Magnums, we all enjoy watching the locals getting into the spirit of things by dancing around, faces painted, without a care in the world. Increasingly sleepy children prevented us from getting too involved ourselves, goddammit!

Destination Townsville and Maggie Island

Good news, the car is quite speedy. Bad news, the police stopped us for doing 125km in a 100km limit and issued a very swift $250 fine. Shame it was Will driving and not me or else I’d have given him a quick flash and been on my way….always works!

I know I was in Townsville with Lucia in 1993, but I don’t recognise it at all. A lot of the buildings seem very new and we’re once again in a Rydges hotel, firstly in one of their gorgeous apartments and then in a hotel room. Palmer Street is full of bars and restaurants and we manage our first “late” night out with the kids when they manage to stay awake over a tapas dinner until 10pm. Woo-hoo!

We’re only an 8km, 40 minute ferry ride to Magnetic Island where we’re booked into the Island Leisure Resort, Nelly Bay (www.islandleisure.com.au). A tiny island where everyone drives around in Mini Mokes for the 9km journey from Picnic Bay in the south to Horseshoe Bay in the north. The kids happily play across the road at the playground, backing onto the beach, whilst we have some dinner and watch the sunset (one eye on them too, of course!).

It’s a very beautiful island made of giant granite boulders, some teetering precariously above you as you make your way down dusty little tracks to a deserted beach. Half of the island is national park and it boasts the largest number of koalas found in the wild in Queensland, so we spend a lot of time peering into the trees looking for grey fuzzy bums.

Having failed to spot any, we take a visit to the Koala Park where, apart from the obvious, you can hold crocs (complete with taped shut mouths, which gives me an idea…) and even a huge python. Harley impresses me by having the snake (three times the size of him) draped around his body. Only 2 months since we went to the Snake Pit in Cambodia and he refused to even stroke a snake. This trip is definitely making both Harley and Ruby more confident.

We’re on such good terms with Rydges now that we get an email from Townsville letting us know that they found our passports in the drawer when we left. Thank god for emails.

Mission Beach

The drive south continues with a 3-hour trip to Mission Beach where we stay in the best cabin yet (www.boutiquebungalows.com.au), plenty of space in this one and even a kitchen, unlike our previous cabin experiences. The family who own this place have 5 kids who go to the local school where shoes are banned at this time of year. Apparently, it’s too hot and wet and can cause all kinds of foot rot, so everyone just goes barefoot.

There’s some beautiful beaches around here and Garners Beach is just one of those. The Horizon Hotel provides a beautiful cliff top location for lunch and a swim and we even manage to see a Cassawary in the wild. These huge, emu-like birds with bright blue heads are only found in Northern Queensland and there are only 1,500 left, which is the same amount of pandas still left in China.

We drive out to Tully Gorge for a much needed stinger-free swim. The river is flowing very fast today, probably something to do with the fact that this area is experiencing its worst flooding for 37 years. We’re managing to stay a couple of days behind the worst and only getting rain at night.

We’re in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef here, so we take the Reef Cat, first stop Dunk Island, then 3 hours of snorkelling. The kids are in stinger suits which are basically nylon, zip-fronted suits with hoods, covering your body but leaving hands, feet, head and face exposed. A good hour of snorkelling and lunch before another hour of snorkelling when we decide that there’s just too many jelly fish in the water to make this very enjoyable anymore. Whilst Will carries on alone (and sees a reef shark), we take a trip on the glass-bottom boat for some safe viewing of this beautiful underwater world.

Cairns and surrounds

Our flight to Cairns goes via Sydney where we have a 5 hour stopover, giving us time to go back with Nicky and Andy to their house and check out our future accommodation. Lucky for them, it passes!

www.wotif.com has turned up a Rydges hotel (www.rydges.com), our home for the next 3 nights whilst we try to find a car. Travellers Auto Barn (www.travellers-autobarn.com) only offers a selection of three different vehicles on the day we’re looking, but since they also guarantee to buy the car back from us in Sydney for 40% of the purchase price (not a great deal, but always nice to have a back-up plan), we settle on a Ford Fairlane Ghia with a 3.6 litre, V6 engine for $5,500. Three weeks car hire in Adelaide cost us $1,500 - we’ll get 16 weeks use out of this car, after which time we’ll get at least $2,200 back. Do the maths!

We’re off to Cape Tribulation, so called because Captain Cook’s ship The Endeavour got caught on the reef here in 1770, forcing him to spend several months ashore with the locals whilst they patched it up. It’s stunning here; thick rainforest, right down to the beaches which are untouched by anything except the sea. Unfortunately, you can’t swim off the Queensland coast in summer because of the stingers (jellyfish), some of which can cause death within 3 seconds, which is less time than it’s taken you to read this sentence…ouch, what was that? aaaarrrrgggghhhhhhh………...

Our journey up here has taken us past fields and fields of sugar cane, through the lovely Port Douglas with its 4 mile beach, where we stop for lunch, and onto the tiny Daintree River Ferry, just big enough for 6 cars at a time. Hope it doesn’t break down as there’s big crocs basking just at the side of this river.

Cape Trib Beach House (www.capetribbeach.comm.au ) is our home for the night where we stay in a wooden cabin, deep in the rainforest and eat our meals outside to the cacophony of a thousand tree frogs.

Our morning drive further north to Cooktown is hampered by the fact that, 2km further along the only road, there’s a sign warning that only 4-wheel drive vehicles can make it past this point. Ah well, next time…

We head west to the Atherton Tablelands, passing lots of mango and coffee farms this time. It’s perfect growing conditions for both apparently, with 80% of Australia’s coffee grown up here. In Mareeba, we head to Granite Gorge, a fantastic raging, rocky river, ending with a waterfall with a wooden swing bridge slung across from one side to the other. This being the rainforest, we not disappointed when it buckets down and we’re totally soaked through within a few seconds. It’s so warm and the humidity is 90% so it really doesn’t matter.

Tonight we’re staying in Kuranda, in another rainforest cabin, and this one comes complete with a 3 hour power cut, thanks to the thunder storm raging outside. Our morning plan to take the train down to Cairns and the 9km cable car back up to Kuranda is scuppered when we discover that it’s lots of messing around with buses to do it this way (rather than the usual cable car down, train back up – but you know me, I like to be different), so head to Barrons Falls instead, another gorgeous, rocky waterfall and then a visit to the 200 year old curtain fig tree, a strangler fig which attaches itself to other trees, sends its roots down to the ground and literally strangles the host tree.

We drive down to Yungaburra, a National Trust village with a very Swiss feel, but we fail to see the platypus known to frolic in the river here (makes a pleasant change from crocs). To see platypus in their natural habitat, you need to be still, quiet and patient. And we have Harley. Still, we drive on through the Misty Mountains (very appropriately named today), to Ravenshoe with its 20 wind turbines and extinct volcano and on to Innot Hot Springs where there are 6 pools of natural hot spring water at various temperatures, the hottest of which is 43-45 degrees. I make it into the very relaxing 41-43 degree pool but Will’s not to be beaten…

Passing huge termite hills all along the side of the road, we continue to Mount Garner, an old mining town. Signs of previous wealth are dotted around, with many of the houses having three or four beautiful, but now rusty, antique cars dotted in their gardens.

Final stop is the Millaa Millaa waterfall, where Ruby and Will take a dip in the torrential rain and I stay on guard with a sleeping Harley in the car. All whacked out, we head to Innisfail, and after a fruitless search for a hotel for the night, end up in the rather cell-like Barrier Reef Motel. But it’s only for a few hours and then we’re back to Cairns to collect the car insurance document and, before the rain sets in again, we spend the afternoon at the open-air lagoon pool, right at the side of the beach, but without the stingers. Back to the Rydges, but this time at the Rydges Plaza where we spend the next two nights.

Christmas down under.

Urgh, can it really be 5.30am? Are there really 2 children in my bedroom holding out their presents from Santa? Am I really being asked to get up? Ok, ok, I’m up, I’m up. Which is more than can be said for Will who’s looking a little the worse for wear having got to bed at 2am. Rob and Moni are also looking a little weary as Jack and Harry are bouncing around the living room. Presents opened, Will skulks off back to bed for another 3 hours, the bugger. Since I’m in charge of Crimbo lunch, I get peeling and Rob does his bit by throwing a couple of chickens on the BBQ. Nicky, Andy and Cooper plus Nicky’s sister Michelle and her daughter Poppy come by in the evening to continue with the eating and drinking. They didn’t get up til 9am, bastards!

It’s slightly odd but great having Christmas in such extreme heat - 40 degrees c (110farenheit) by lunchtime. Christmas in England, cold and dark by 4pm. Christmas in Oz, hot and still light at 8pm. No rushing out the door for a walk before it gets dark here. We even get a chance to go out and fly the remote control dragonfly Santa bought for Ruby. A very light, very fast dragonfly that reaches great heights very quickly. So quickly in fact, that when I took control, it soared over the trees, taken by the wind and plopped into someone’s back garden. A distraught Ruby accompanies me as I knock on doors, climb up trees, rummage in long grass and run from snarling dogs, before I finally spot it on someone’s garage roof, undamaged. Phew!

Boxing Day, we take a drive out to Sellicks beach where you can take the car onto the sand. A great day with a calm, shallow sea and the highlight of the day for Ruby and Harley - being allowed to sit on Will’s lap and drive the car. Give me this kind of Boxing Day over the UK version every time.

There’s still a hundred or more wineries in this area, but we head to Mclaren Vale and, after a quick stop in at the Hamilton winery to pick up a bottle for lunch, we hit the more famous D’Arenberg. It’s 11.45am and having already tasted ½ dozen wines at Hamilton, we now settle in for a dozen or so D’Arry tastings. The group next to us are clearly already on their way to being half cut.

We’re invited over to Norm Doole’s (a client of Will’s; Norm owns the Dowie Doole winery) for lunch and Ruby’s delighted to meet his daughter Cordelia again. We’re at least as delighted when she takes Ruby and Harley off for a long swim in their pool, leaving us to sample some more fine wines.

Over the next few days, we head up into the Adelaide hills to a German settlement area and visit Lobethal with their Bierhouse, the 60 foot tall giant rocking horse at the Wooden Toy Factory, go to Jackie’s for a pool party and Nicky and I take some time out to have a girlie day. Spirits are only dampened when we discover that baby Emily has been hospitalised with a virus and will be kept in for observation.

New Years Eve and we’re all over at Bec and Tony’s for a pool party. All of us except poor Moni and Emily who are still being kept at the hospital. The stroke of midnight finds us in the pool, drinking champagne and fighting with crocs and sharks, fortunately only rubber blow-ups.
NY day, the boys (minus Rob who hopes to collect Moni from the hospital) are having a boys day today with 18 holes of golf, watching the 20:20 cricket at the Oval and shooting some pool. It’s 40 degrees and I don’t envy them trudging round a golf course in this heat. Nicky comes over and we hang out for a while before heading for the pool. If all goes well tonight, Moni will be bringing Emily home from hospital tomorrow morning.

We’re off to Barossa, an hours drive from Adelaide. Andy’s feeling like someone spiked his drink yesterday but his symptoms sound like heat-stroke to me. Either way, I don’t think he’s really up for the stops at the wineries on the way. Still, not a group to be deterred from wine tasting just because someone’s ill, we visit the Henscke family at their little stone cellar door and Saltram for a top-up.

Final stop for the day is Rockfords, famed for their sparkling shiraz which is only available from the cellar door for 3 weeks of the year. We’re in luck and load up the car.

Nicky’s booked us into the Novotel, which slightly concerns me as Novotels in Europe aren’t particularly plush affairs, so we’re pleasantly surprised to discover that we have a great 2-bed apartment with views over rolling vineyards belonging to Jacobs Creek. We’re heading out for dinner tonight and as the babysitter arrives, for only the second time in 4 months, Ruby asks “are you going out AGAIN?”. She then proceeds to ask, very loudly, if this one will better than the last, who didn’t speak any English and why did we pay her as she was rubbish. Fortunately, the babysitter doesn’t seem too put out and shoos us out the door – destination Peppers the Louise. Peppers are a small group of boutique hotels and this one is renowned for its restaurant. It doesn’t disappoint. Exquisite food, fantastic amuse bouche between each course, gorgeous wines, sunset….even Andy’s perked up.

The boys are up early for more golf so Nicky and I take a quick trip to Jacob’s Creek for some of their Reserve Sparkling (and we even drive over the actual Jacob’s Creeks – very exciting!) before retiring to the pool for the afternoon. Is it really January?

A four hour spa at Endota for Nicky and I the following morning, including a ½ hour soak in the tub together, which could only have been improved by a glass of bubbles in hand!

Homeward bound and we have to make the most of all the wineries around here by a visit to Bethany (population 80) for some sweet Late Harvest Riesling and then to Wolfblass for a President’s Selection Shiraz.

Back to Adelaide where everyone is home and well from hospital, which just leaves us with a dozen or so bottles of wine to drink over our farewell dinner tomorrow night. I thought my cooking may have been a bit of a letdown after Peppers The Louise, but as it turns out, the whole Kingfish I bought at the market is delicious. Everything to do with my preparation and nothing to do with Rob’s bbq skills.

Adelaide and great friends

A 3-hour west-to-east flight and we land in South Australia to be greeted by Rob (complete with bouffant hairdo), Moni (complete with 8 ¾ month baby bump), Jack and Harry who we haven’t seen since January, after having spent last New Year’s eve with them in Carrackalinga. Harry was a bouncing baby of 12 months old last time we saw him and looks very different now as walking 2 year old and Jack’s as happy as ever to see his favourite god-mother (eat your heart out Nicky!).

I’ve booked a week’s accommodation at Glenelg in the Glenelg Lake Apartments via the net, which were all I could find due to this being just one week before Christmas. As soon as we arrive, we discover exactly why this apartment was still available. Let’s just say it wasn’t good and leave it at that, shall we? We dump our bags and head straight off to Rob and Moni’s house in Linden Park, east of the City. Apparently it’s the posh part of Adelaide. They’re clearly trying to keep up with their posh English friends. Will and I spend a leisurely afternoon cracking open Rob’s wine and the kids are delighted to have not only Jack and Harry’s toys to play with but also a playroom the size of a garage, set in the garden, in which to do it. We return to Glenelg late enough to just plop the kids in bed and get up early enough to head back to Rob and Moni’s for a BBQ lunch and another attack on Rob’s wine. I was so depressed by the thought of going back to our apartment that I took to walking the streets that night (remember that I am Head of Research and my job sometimes involves dangerous undercover work) looking for a new place to stay whilst Will got the kids to bed. I returned with several options, most of them twice the price and none of them very nice. Undeterred, I insisted we pack up in the morning and leave, whereupon I would find somewhere else (thanks to my fabulous newfound friend www.wotif.com). The fist apartment was AU$ 567 for a week, the new one was AU$ 1,400 per week. The first was a shit-hole, the second was abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous. One balcony overlooked the marina, the other overlooked the beach and the fantastic sunsets each evening. We were now able to return the favour and have the Tolly’s over for dinner. Yay, we’re back to being their posh friends again. We pass the next couple of days by taking the kids up to Cuddly Creek for a ’roo/koala fest, going to the beach, taking the tram into town, drinking wine, cooking and enjoying the sunsets. A early morning phone call signals the arrival of Nicky, Andy and Cooper who have just arrived in Adelaide following a 13 hour drive through the night from Sydney.

They head straight over to our lush pad and, as Nicky and I park the car, Andy and Cooper get stuck in the lift, thanks in no small part to Cooper pushing the Stop button. Just what they need after a 13 hour drive. Fortunately, they were stuck just inches from our floor and we could open the door a few millimetres; just enough for us to taunt them with talk of how thirsty they must be and did they need the toilet!

We haven’t had an impromptu party in the 4 months since we left, so tonight seems like as good an excuse as any. Somehow, once Rob, Moni, Nicky and Andy have gone home, we end up drinking with Nicky’s dad, Jim and his brother David til the early hours which leaves me, in my other job as Chief Packer, with a huge clear up to do before vacating the apartment by 10am.

21 December, Moni leaves her house for hospital at 7.30am and we move in at 11am. Ah, bliss. Being in a house (not to mention that outdoor playroom) is such a luxury. Baby Emily Isabelle Tolladay is born that morning and we celebrate when Rob comes home by cracking open some of our wine, for a change.

Moni’s back home Christmas eve but not up for drinks in the park with the Adelaide posse, including Tommy, Kirsty and Arki in from Singapore. The session continues at home when Scotty comes over and, as the boys try out his drinking game of downing 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes, I put my sensible hat on and stagger off to bed at midnight.